Have you ever written a letter to express your love? It’s not nearly as hard as you might think. In fact, it’s quite easy. All you have to do is tell them “I love you” and then give some reasons why.
And if “Words of Affirmation” is your spouse’s love language, they’ll appreciate it all the more!
Why write a letter
The written word has a few advantages over the spoken: it lasts longer, it allows you to say exactly what you mean the first time, and it can be reviewed whenever the recipient wishes. Unlike an email they can be physically held, and there’s something more “real” about a tangible object.
Even though you may share the exact same sentiments that you will be writing down, they will last longer in written form. Memories will grow fuzzy, expressions will be forgotten. A letter can be held on to through the years, a tangible item that can be touched and held, and even passed on. Love letters will be saved and over time will create a record of your relationship.
The ability to edit what you say gives the written word a great advantage over the spoken. You have the opportunity to plan what you will say, try it out, and then edit until it sounds exactly the way you want it to. It’s much less stressful when you know that you can erase and re-write your words.
A hand-written letter will have much more meaning than an email ever will. There’s just something about being able to hold the paper that someone took the time to write their personal thoughts down on. Especially when those thoughts focus on the reader in such a positive light.
What you need
Ok, enough about advantages of letter writing. Let’s go ahead and get to it!
It doesn’t take much to write a letter: something to write with and to write on. The possibilities are endless! However, the most common materials are pen and paper (though you can carve your letter into a stone slab if you really want to.)
A pen works better than a pencil because your writing will last longer. Over time pencil fades more than ink does and will be harder to read. You can use any kind of pen, from the ballpoint you forgot to leave at the bank desk to a nice fountain pen.
While any kind of paper would work, the back of a receipt just won’t have the same effect as a nice sheet of paper. Everyday typing paper will do just fine, though there’s just something nice about holding a sheet of good quality paper. It has more weight, feels better against your fingers, and shows that you took the effort to get something nicer just for the letter.You can buy parchment or a “resume paper” in most store’s stationary section.
Don’t worry if you choose to use something that it doesn’t have lines. Simply place a piece of darkly lined paper underneath your blank sheet as you write. Unless your paper is terribly thick you will be able to see the lines rather clearly.
What to write about?
While the idea behind a love letter is simple and straight forward, some of us find them hard to write. It can be challenging to express one’s feelings. If you’re one of those people who can easily express yourself in writing, have fun. For the rest of us, here is a basic outline that we can follow:
Express your love
Jump right in and say why you’re writing. Perhaps something along the lines of:
I was thinking about you and just wanted to let you know how much I love you! I don’t tell you often enough and thought that I should. I wanted to write it down so that you can read it whenever you wish.
Recall when you first felt that way
When did you first realize you were in love? Recount that moment, sharing what you were doing, what made you realize you were in love, how that made you feel, etc. Maybe this wasn’t a moment, but something that gradually crept up on you. Then you could talk about the time you first met each other, how you felt when you first asked them out, or about when you proposed.
I remember first seeing you at the 4th of July Bar-B-Que. I was completely entranced and am pretty sure that I ignored my friends, distracted by you. You were obviously having a great time and I couldn’t get enough of your smile. I made sure to find an excuse to talk to you.
Tell why you’re still in love
Over time, your love has only grown. Now it’s time to say why. On a separate piece of paper make a list of things you love about them: personality, character, physical, and all that they do for you. Then write at least a sentence about each of those things in your letter.
I’m still distracted by you, with your beautiful smile, fabulous hair, and sexy body. I love your sense of humor and how you can make me laugh so easily. Your way with people is amazing to watch, as you put those around you at ease and help to brighten their day. I know how lucky I am that I get to hold you close and be part of your life.
Talk about your future
Talk about how your love will continue to grow as time passes.
I know that I will find you even more amazing as time grows on. Our friendship will grow stronger and our love will deepen. My life will continue to be better than it ever could be without you at my side.
Restate your love
End strong with another statement of your love. Sum up the letter in these last few sentences.
I will always love you, and can’t wait to grow old with you.
Don’t worry too much about how it sounds to you. As long as your saying what you truly feel, it will come across, even if you think it sounds cheesy.
Here are a few tips for the actual writing process:
Plan it out
Most of us will require some thought to figure out exactly what we want to say and what order we want to say it in. Even if you use the above outline, you might find it easiest to jot down the memories you wish to write about, the reasons for your love, and what you think your future holds. Scribble some notes to yourself so that you have an outline before you get started.
Writing something more than once is a great way to get it to sound how you want. Editing is a letter-writer’s friend. Using your outline, sit down and write your letter (this is a great time to use a computer, with its speed and editing capabilities). Write down whatever comes to mind as you work. Once finished, print it out and carefully read over it, pen in hand, and correct any errors. Perhaps you only have some spelling to change, or maybe it would sound better after changing the order of the paragraphs. You might find that you have become repetitious and need to do some deleting. Whatever they are, make the changes that you need.
Pick up your pen
Once you have everything edited, it’s time to actually write. Pen in hand and paper ready to go, you can copy the letter word-for-word. Since you already know what you’re going to write and how you’re going to say it, the writing process is now much easier. Don’t worry about making mistakes, they will be completely overlooked and only go to show that you really did this yourself.
While a love letter goes over quite well on a holiday, there’s no reason to wait to give a loved one such a gift. Such an unexpected surprise will be received quite gladly. Tell that special someone just how much you love them, today.
Even if you don’t have the time to write your letter right now, you can at least start brainstorming what you will say. Begin your list of things that you love about them so that you can write your letter later. You could write a short love note right now and write the longer letter later. No matter what you do, it’s time to start writing!