Adventure-Some

I recently asked what you were building. (I have also noticed that Ev Bogue seems to be asking something similar recently.)

Even though it was not that long ago that I asked that question my answer has already expanded. Even more people have downloaded the Ready-to-go Dates guide since then. Their feedback has helped me to do two things.

Continue the cycle
Though it would be easy to release the guide and be done with it, that would not fulfill its purpose. Ultimately, I want this to be an amazing, free resource that can help anyone who needs it. To do that, it needs to continue growing, improving, and becoming more accessible.

The feedback that I have received has provided me with encouragement to continue, suggestions of ways to improve the guide, tips and ideas that I would have never come up with on my own. Together, we will all make Ready-to-go Dates into everything that it can possibly be.

The next step
Because of the premise upon which Ready-to-go Dates is built – dates that need 20 minutes or less of preparation, and that can be done just about anywhere – it can only be expanded so far. There are many great ideas out there that just require more preparation, have too many options to fit into the one-date-per-page format, or can only be done at a certain time of the year.

Again, based on the feedback that I have received, I am now building what I am thinking of as “Ready-to-go Dates 2.0″. It is going to be the personalized, detailed, ongoing version of Ready-to-go Dates – four emails a month that provide two date ideas and two romance tips.

I am almost done. Or at least done enough.

- whispering - Those who have are on the Ready-to-go Dates list will get first access to the service, and a discounted price. So if you haven’t gotten your free copy of Ready-to-go Dates yet, you might want to go ahead and do so! But don’t tell anyone, that’s a secret! - ends whispering -

I’m so excited that I can barely contain it!

I recently ran across the site LiveYourLegend.net by Scott and love it!

Here’s one of the quotes that really stood out to me.

Build things. This starts from day one. If you are reading about how to write, then start writing. If you’re being taught how to interview, they go find some job openings. People dramatically overestimate how much time them must spend learning before they start doing. The answer is exactly ZERO. The moment you start learning is the moment you must start building and testing.

I recently started doing this, as I decided to go ahead and release my newest ebook Ready-to-go Dates before I got it back from my editor. As soon as I did get the edited copy back I updated the link and informed those who already had a copy that it had been updated.

All of this because I want to be building, doing. As much as I want that, though, I seem to have a tendency to spend time learning things instead of doing them. So this time I defaulted toward action, and it paid off. A few hundred people have downloaded Ready-to-go Dates and a number of them have reached out to give me some amazingly useful feedback.

And now it’s up to me to continue the cycle. If I do nothing, the project will die here. However, I am not going to do nothing, I will implement their feedback, test their ideas, and include the best of them in a new version of the Ready-to-go Dates guide. It will continue to grow and improve over time, spreading and helping even more people.

What about you, what are you building?

My wife and I just returned from a handbell concert. Until seeing them mentioned on a tv show this past week, we had never heard of handbells before.

A few days later my boss just happened to receive some tickets to the concert that he was unable to attend and left them at the front desk for employees on a first-come, first-serve basis. Apparently I was not only the first, but also the one interested in them, since I didn’t get in to work until after everyone else and still managed to snag them.

So tonight my wife and I went to check out something we had never experienced before, driven by curiosity and free tickets. Not quite sure what to expect (because how trust can you really put in an example seen on a sitcom?) we went just to see what we would see.

The show was wonderful. The music was quite enjoyable, the setting was beautiful, the ladies in the ensemble clearly enjoyed themselves, and the group shared their sense of humor and love of what they were doing.

My wife and I had a thoroughly enjoyable break from our cram-before-finals evening, which wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t been open to trying something new. We would certainly have missed out if I had just brushed off “handbell concert tickets” as something that I wasn’t familiar with and therefore not interested in.

What is something that you haven’t tried, just because you aren’t familiar with it?

Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Lori Lowe, who blogs at MarriageGems.com and is the author of FIRST KISS TO LASTING BLISS: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage which has been released today at LoriDLowe.com.

Materialism is Inconsistent with Strong Marriages

Those of you who are choosing to live a more simple life may be heartened to know your decision bodes well for your marriage. Recent research has shown no matter what your income levels, a high level of materialism is correlated with marriages that struggle more, and that marriages with lower levels of materialism have higher levels of satisfaction. If both spouses are materialistic, the marriage has further struggles. Read more about this study on materialism and marital happiness.

Margaret and Phil are an example of a couple who choose to live in a counter-cultural way. Early in their marriage, they made a conscious decision not to accumulate too many possessions, and not to change their lifestyle as their incomes rose. Since Phil’s parents grew up in the Great Depression, he adopted some of their frugal ways, for example fixing what breaks instead of automatically buying new. They maintain an uncluttered, organized home.

I interviewed Phil and Margaret for my book, First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage, which profiles couples who overcame various challenges from drug addiction to infertility, child loss, infidelity, financial crises, military separation, depression, brain injury, stranger rape, opposing religions, disruptive families and much more. But this couple was an example for more of what they did right than for the obstacles that tripped them up. They made conscious lifestyle decisions early in their marriage that has guided them for decades.

When Phil was in medical school and Margaret was a teacher, it was easy to not accumulate too much, because they had very little money. As their incomes increased, they earmarked funds for charity, for mission trips, or long-term goals, such as the education of their two children. Their lifestyle choices allowed them to keep their priorities in check. For instance, Phil chose to provide medical care for indigent patients and doesn’t work overly long hours to advance his career. They have both been very satisfied in the ways they contribute to society and are satisfied with what they have materially.

Making mission trips with their young children also contributed to their view that they didn’t need more materialistic goods to be happy. They found many of the very poor people they met in travels were exceedingly happy despite their financial poverty. Phil and Margaret also have a strong faith that leads them to be generous with what they have.

More than 30 years into their marriage, they have no financial conflict in their marriage and are satisfied with what they have. They enjoy their four grandchildren. While Phil still works, Margaret is retired and has time for volunteer work that she finds fulfilling.

It’s so natural in our society to long for a bigger house, a nicer car, or finer clothes. This is not only because of ubiquitous advertising images, but also because we see friends and neighbors obtaining these goods regularly, whether they can afford to or not. But what do we trade those things for?

My husband and I made a conscious decision early in our marriage to not accumulate any credit card debt and to be wise with our spending. That includes the holiday season, which can be very difficult to manage without overbuying. However, I can also say that being in synch financially has allowed us to avoid virtually all financial conflict in our marriage. The freedom gained from living within our means far exceeds the joy we would obtain from accumulating more.

Experts say materialism often leads to poor financial decisions, resulting in debt and higher stress levels. They add that materialistic individuals spend less time nurturing their relationships with people and more time acquiring things, while non-materialistic people place a higher priority on relationships.

Don’t be afraid to make your own decisions about your lifestyle, even if it’s different from the culture that surrounds you. Invest in your marriage, and it will pay big dividends.

To learn about the other couples featured in the book, visit www.Facebook.com/LastingBliss. For more information about Lori or to purchase the book, visit www.LoriDLowe.com.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to join you today on Adventure-Some.com!

You might be surprised how many details just don’t stick in your mind about your spouse. I wrote about an easy way to help you remember them over at Simple Marriage:

Check it out!

I love dating, even though I don’t get to go out as much as I’d prefer. That’s just part of being alive, unfortunately… never enough time. One of the awesome things about being married? You always have a date.

My wife and I love exploring, trying new things, and going new places. Many of our dates feature these activities in some fashion. Because we have been living in the same place for the last few years, however, we have noticed that our dates have fallen into the dinner and a movie rut.

And after years of exploring, dinner and a movie doesn’t always fit the bill. Sometimes we want something more. That might mean a treasure hunt where each clue leads to the next stage of the date or a date that has had details trickled out via a note a day over the course of a week. The only trouble is that figuring out the details those dates takes time. And that takes us back to the original issue: not enough time.

To solve this issue and ensure that my wife and I can focus on each other, we started keeping a list of our favorite date ideas. That way we always had ideas when we needed them.

It occurred to me that we might not be the only ones who fall back on dinner and a movie habit. Finally, I took my list and wrote an easy-to-read guide, Ready-to-go Dates. It ended up having 20 date ideas that take less than 20 minutes of preparation. Though I had more ideas, I only included ones that can be done anywhere.

The final draft is actually at my editor right now, but I was too excited to wait. Following the Cult of Done manifesto I decided to go ahead and make it available now. The edited version will be automatically sent out to those who pick up a copy of the current draft.

You can get yours here. Go and check it out!

One of the easiest ways to strengthen a marriage is to do exciting things together. I wrote about 10 Ways to Find More Adventure in Your Marriage over at Lori Lowe’s Marriage Gems today.

Even if you’re not married, you could still find a way to spice up your life. A number of them will work even if you’re single. Either way, go check it out!

I never let my schooling interfere with my education.
~ Mark Twain

I’m graduating from college in a few weeks as a certified artist. One of the common questions is “are you going to grad school?”

Though I contemplated it for a short while, the answer is an adamant no. Going on to get a master’s degree can be a great thing, and I won’t completely rule it out as a future possibility. However, in addition to being pretty thoroughly tired of school at the moment, I just don’t see where I can join a program that will justify its cost.

While looking at different masters programs I came to realize that what they teach is pretty simple. It doesn’t really matter what the school is, whether the University of Kentucky or Yale, the basic program is the same. Since I was specifically looking at Masters in Fine Arts programs I will use them as an example.

Here are the 6 steps that you have to complete in order to receive an MFA:
1. Create a lot of work
2. and get a lot of feedback on it
3. from all of the other artists you are meeting.
4. While learning where you fit in/relate to art history
5. and contemporary art.
6. Then, to prove that the school has done its job, have a solo show.

Though the schools might disagree (and I’ve had at least a couple of teachers do so), I don’t feel that a school is required to meet those requirements. They aren’t the only repository of information. It doesn’t have to cost tens of thousands of dollars to learn to become an artist. (Or many other things, unless you are looking at a career that requires some sort of licensing to enter the field.)

So I’m not going to work toward a master’s degree at the moment. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t be continuing my education. In fact, I will be branching out, and am likely to be learning more than when I was in school.

If I decide to put that artist certification to use? That spare bedroom can become a studio space, I can go out and meet other artists (more than ever before are accessible, because of the internet) and ask them to give me advice about my work while using the internet and library to look up artists and learn more about their work and how it relates to mine. I can approach galleries to have a solo show, or easily host my own.

Maybe the business minor will be of more interest to me and I’ll expand my reading list to include the Personal MBA book selection and I’ll have the knowledge equivalence of an MBA. 99 books? I can read that in a year, no problem.

Perhaps I’ll do a little of both. Continue creating art and growing as an artist while reading some business books to get a better understanding of how that world works. Maybe I’ll throw in some other topics just for the fun of it.

Either way, I might be done with school, but my education is certainly not over.

Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.
~ Mark Twain’s Notebook

In a few weeks I will be graduating from college with a BA in Art Studio and Business and Art History minors. I suppose that makes me a Certified Artist.

And this whole graduation thing begs the most common question of all: “So what do you plan to do?”

Well, the same as I have been doing, without the time-suck of classes and homework. An ever-present goal is to be the best husband that I can, so my wife will continue to be a focus of my life. I will continue working at the same place that I had before, though I was recently promoted (partially because of the upcoming time available). My personal reading list won’t have to be set to the side because of school assignments. I will continue to sketch and write as I have been.

So I guess that the real answer is, continue “living my life.” After all, the 4.5 years that I’ve spent in college were a part of my real life, not some sort of practice. Getting married, living in Ireland with my wife for four months, losing some close family members, and paying cash for my motorcycle were all the real deal. And now, I get to do even more of it.

I mentioned that I have implemented a daily tracking system but didn’t go into great detail about what exactly I’m tracking. If you’re interested, here are those details.

What I’m tracking
• Wake time – Between my wife and I’s school and work schedules, our daily routine fluctuates greatly. Out of curiosity I’ve started noting what time I actually wake up each day. There is a strong possibility that I will also start noting what my mood is during the day, as I assume these (combined with my sleep amount) strongly reflect each other.
• How long sleep? – Likely just as important as wake time, I will eventually compare this metric with other items such as how I feel during the day, mood, energy level, etc.
• Did I floss? – A habit that I’m trying to build, and that I’ve noticed is much easier to do when I have this external motivation to do it.
• Active? – I explained this in the previous post. Working up from being fairly sedentary to more active each day.
• Productive? – I have so many projects going on each day that it’s easiest to simply note if I did some worthwhile work each day than anything more specific. The goal is to do something that moves a project forward. Tiny steps consistently done will help me get to my destination.
• Network? – Take at least one action each day to connect with another person. This may be a business, scholarly, or personal connection. It can be a face-to-face meeting or a quick email. Like the productivity goal, a consistent effort in connecting with people will help me grow a strong network over time.
• Write love note for my wife? – Sometimes it is easy to overlook writing a daily love note for my wife, but this daily reminder is helping me to meet that goal.
• Complete school work? – There is always something to be done, even if it’s not due just yet. Why not go ahead and do something, so that it’s not all left till the last minute.
• Read? – I read a lot, but so much of it is online or purely for school. I am making myself read some for personal reasons, whether it is fiction or non-fiction.
• Sketch something? – I will soon be a certified artist. To build on that I am in the process of incorporating art into my daily life on a more regular basis. Like networking and being productive, the goal is to simply work on art in some form each day with the knowledge that a lot of little steps will help me to achieve long-term goals.
• Drink more water than other types of beverage? – I’ve noticed that when I don’t drink enough water I run out of energy fairly quickly. To further complicate matters I’ve noticed that I might drink a lot (coffee, juice, tea, etc) but they aren’t as effective as water. So the goal is to drink more water than anything else. – So far, so good. Consciously being aware of this has helped me to feel better for the last week.

It’s amazing how such big goals can be condensed down into one or two word questions, each of which can be tracked so simply. Those tiny, daily steps make huge progress possible, and far faster than one would expect.

What daily steps can you take toward your goals?