What comes to mind when you think of romance? Do you picture a fancy restaurant with roses and candles on the table? Maybe some live music in the background? While that certainly would be romantic, it’s not the only way to go.
Contrary to popular opinion, romance is not a one time event, reserved for special occasions. It is not something that you have, but is something that you do, and do on a recurring basis. According to the dictionary, romance can be either a type of story or an action. Unless you live in a book or a movie, we’re not concerned with the story, but with what we can do:
1. to seek the affections of romantically; woo
2. treat with feelings of great intensity and warmth
3. be considerate and courteous to women
As you can see, the definition is fairly simple. Why, then, do we tend to make it so complicated? While I lay much of the blame on popular culture (movies tend to portray romance as whirl-wind love affairs or one time events), much of the confusion occurs because we don’t have a good understanding of how to be romantic.
What is romance?
Sterile dictionary definition aside, what exactly is romance? Nothing more than a daily series of small actions that serve to express our love. People show love in different ways, and so the exact combination will be different for everyone. Perhaps your wife feels loved through physical contact; then you would romance her by holding her hand, giving her back rubs, touching her arm, and otherwise physically touching her. Maybe she responds best when you do things for her; in which case you would make it a point to do things like washing the dishes, making the bed, or vacuuming.
You will notice that none of these cost any money, nor are they taxing, time-consuming tasks. A combination of such simple, small actions are all that you need to show your spouse just how much they are loved.
Romance is a choice
We have to choose to be romantic. The small actions mentioned above are not always things we would choose to do (after all, vacuuming is not a common item on “top 10 favorite things to do” lists). However, by consciously deciding to do these things we are showing our love. When such actions don’t come naturally to you, they are even greater expressions of our love. (ie: Extra brownie points!)
Choosing romance daily
Not only do you have to choose to take your romantic action but it is a choice that you have to re-make each day. It might be an easy decision when you’re in a good mood and have some free time. However, even if you’re mad at your wife and rushed for time you can still choose to do something to show that you love her.
Sacrificing some time that would otherwise be spent watching television, surfing the web, or hanging out with friends in order to focus on your spouse is time well spent. It’s not time lost, but instead time well invested in your relationship. That time will reap dividends in the form of a wife who feels well-loved and thus will be willing to return the favor.
How are you going to romance your spouse today?
You don’t have to buy some expensive gift or plan an extravagant dinner. Here are some simple actions you can do today to show your wife how much you love her.
- get her a free gift – full of meaning and thought, not a full price tag
- cook her a meal
- go on a date – here are even more date ideas
- go for a walk together
- learn her love language
- give her a back rub
- write her a love letter
- write her a love note – in case you don’t have time to write a letter
- spend 15 minutes doing nothing more than talking to her
Pick whichever you think your wife would like the most and go do it! There’s no time like the present to start being romantic!