Category: Personal

It’s not all puppies, rainbows, and butterflies

Never compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.

Have you noticed how fabulous some people’s lives look? You check Facebook, Instagram, etc to see what friends are up to and their lives look amazing! Boating, grilling out with friends, playing with their beautiful children, and still finding time to whip up some amazing meals and creating beautiful crafts. How can you ever compare?

  
The answer, of course, is that you can’t. Without thinking, we only use social media, those tools of public projection, to show the highlights of our lives. The bad pictures, mistakes and boring sections are edited out. At a glance, it would appear that everyone’s life is perfect and amazing from these curated displays.

  
You might think that of my wife and I, if you are following along on our journey around the U.S. in our motorhome. It is an amazing adventure and we are having a wonderful time and know that we’re blessed to have the opportunity, but we still have boring, frustrating, and bad moments, that you won’t find captured on our Facebook stream.

  
Even looking at our journal entries, you only see the highlights. Yes, we have visited 5 states and seen a lot of neat things. But here are a few of the things that we don’t mention:

  • hours and hours and hours of driving
  • so many bugs that we don’t go outside except to leave and go somewhere else
  • the challenge and frustration of finding somewhere to park for the night
  • getting annoyed and tired as a day goes on too long
  • gas station stops and watching the meter spin as the fuel pump flows
  • the challenges of having a good time while budgeting
  • the pictures that don’t turn out so well

   
   
Life is pretty darn good. We really don’t have anything to complain about. But if you looked at it only through the filter of social media you might think that we do nothing more than relax between adventures.

  
Whenever you look at someone else’s life, whether in person or online, keep in mind that it has been curated only to show the best parts, the highlights. Everyone has lows to offset the highs, stretches of boredom punctuated by excitement, and adventures tucked in between the day-to-day routines.

RV FAQ

Here are a few of the questions that we are asked about our journey:

  • Why? – Why not? Both my wife and I have always been curious about the world around us and want to see more of it. So we are exploring the country to see what there is to see.
  • What inspired you? – As mentioned above, a love of travel and exploration. However, we have both lost loved ones to cancer – and they both left us too early, before they got to live out the adventures that they had planned. We don’t want the same thing to happen to us, so we are going on the adventures now, while we know that we can.
  • Where are you going? – Everywhere! We are going to visit every National Park and National Forest in the continental United States (and are also going to visit each of the lower 48 states).
  • How can you afford this? Arent’t you young to be retired? – Though we say we are retired, that might not be the most accurate description. After paying off our school loans we built up savings and began looking for a house to purchase/build. Eventually we decided that wasn’t the best option for us and chose to use those savings to buy a motorhome and remodel it. No debt,  further savings, and frugal living will allow us to travel for an extended period. We will pick up odd jobs as they strike our fancy to help add to our financial cushion (perhaps helping at a vineyard or orchard during harvest, or working in Orlando Studio’s Harry Potter World). Also, want to buy some soap?
  • What if your motorhome breaks down? – As long as we can continue to live in it, we will do so. If we can’t afford to get it repaired, we can work and save until we can get it fixed, and then continue on our journey. After two years, we will have broken even between the cost of the motorhome and our previous rent payments and will actually be saving money by owning our own home on wheels.
  • What do you do? Just drive around? – We are hiking and exploring the parks and forests that we visit, and other interesting destinations along the way. In the evenings and during rainy days we read, write and draw. For gas savings we can explore on the motorcycle. We have also brought our bicycles along so that we can further explore and continue training for our ride across Iowa in July, 2015.
  • Across IOWA? – Yep. We are taking part in the RAGBRAI. A weeklong bike ride across the state of Iowa, from west to east.
  • Don’t you need more room? – We find our RV to be perfectly sized for us. If anything, we could have gone a touch smaller. There is room for everything that we do, it’s comfortable and uniquely ours. What more do we need? Plus, we spend a lot of time ouside, enjoying the great outdoors on our quest.

Have more questions? Feel free to email me at Matthew (at) Adventure-Some (dot) com and I’ll answer them for you.

The Twisted Path to FullTime Life in a Motorhome

As with anything in life, our path to buying a motorhome, remodeling it, and then moving in as our primary residence has been one full of twists and turns.

Looking back Ashley and I have come to realize that we don’t like sitting still. Between traveling and living in different places we have always been on the move and grow restless when we have been in one place too long.

9 years ago, Ashley and I connected over shared ideas about adventure, travel, and life.

8 years ago, we moved off to school and began exploring the Daniel Boone National Forest in central Kentucky.

We discussed the possibility of buying an RV and living in it as a way to mitigate costs while students

7 years ago, I married my best friend at a destination wedding within the Red River Gorge, a subset of the D.B. National Forest. We decided against buying something and let a short-term apartment, as we would be leaving in 6 months to study in Ireland for a school semester.

7.5 years ago found us living in a converted garage in Maynooth, Ireland while we attend school and jaunt about the country on weekends.

6 years prior, we returned from Ireland, drove to Colorado at my dad’s passing, packed up his things and returned to Kentucky. We drove up to Lexington for a week’s worth of apartment shopping to prepare for the upcoming school semester.

The next 4 years find us bouncing around apartments in Lexington as we work at various companies and finish our degrees. A trip is taken down to Donna, TX to visit Matthew’s grandparents. We buy a motorcycle as a second vehicle. Ashley sneaks away the last summer to join family on a 7-day backpacking trip in Colorado (sadly, Matthew could’t get off work). We go and visit Ashley’s oldest sister in the Seattle, WA area.

With the beginning of our careers looming we debate where to live. Other than visits, we have always lived in Kentucky. While it is a beautiful state, with much to offer, our wanderlust has by no means been quenched and we are eager to see more of the country, and world. However, we also enjoy spending time with our families, the core of which happen to live within just a few miles of each other.

2 years ago, we pack up everything and return to our home town, leaving favorite restaurants and great friends to live close to our families. Ashley is able to transfer from the hospital she had been working at for two years to another one within the same network, beginning her career as a nurse. We sign a two-year lease, agreeing with each other that if we have fallen back in love with the area we can settle down once the lease expires. However, the conclusion of the lease also signals time for us to mosey along if the urge to travel is still strong.

1.5 years ago find us settled in place. Both of us have jobs, one of us with a company we love and that could be good enough to consider retiring from. We picked up another car. We have discovered new restaurants and coffee shops and have a routine of visits with our respective families. There was another backpacking trip in Colorado – and Matthew was able to join on this one. We take an impromptu trip to the Bahamas for a vacation.

1 year ago, we begin looking at houses for sale. It feels like time to move. We want something that we can decorate and really make ours. Years of renting make us ready to own.

The houses and property that catch our interest are more than we want to pay. Maybe we can just buy land and build our own home. Ashley’s dad did just that and we love his house. So the search for land began. Alas, nothing seemed to match our respective desires.

10 months ago it occurred to us that perhaps the land isn’t the important part. Maybe we could just build a tiny house and rent a spot from one of our parents (or bounce between them in an attempt to not wear out our welcome.) Research began. We settled on tiny house plan that we both loved. It was big enough to feel spacious and small enough to be economical – something we felt confident that we could build and since it was on wheels it was portable so we could travel and take our home with us! But something just wasn’t right.

8 months ago, after lots of frustration with her employer, Ashley dropped down to part-time. She was much more relaxed, had more energy, and even began pursuing some personal interests.

I read Chris Guillebeau’s newest book, The The Happiness of Pursuit and it clicked. A tiny house would be ours and would allow us to travel while having our own home with us. However, while they can be moved, it doesn’t seem like they do well when they are frequently mobilized. An RV, however, is made to do exactly that.

After much discussion, we agreed. A tiny house has some advantages over a motorhome/RV, and is a project for a future day. A motorhome would allow us to travel around the United States and explore the different places that we might want to live.

Building on the idea of the quest, presented in The Happiness of Pursuit, Ashley decided that she wanted to see every National Park and National Forest in the continental United States. That almost covers every state, so I added visiting all of the lower 48 to our todo list.

Now the idea stuck with us and we began figuring out what we would have to do to make it a reality.

We decided not to wait until “later”, influenced by the passing of loved ones who didn’t get to live out their dreams.

6 months ago we started looking at Motorhomes and debating how to bring what secondary vehicle along with us. My mom and step-dad had a class-C that they’d used on a handful of trips over the past 3 years. They offered to let us stay in their yard for a week so that we could see what we liked/didn’t like about RV life (important information to have, seeing as neither of us had stayed in an RV since we were wee children). We enjoyed it so much that we stayed for a second week, and then offered to buy it from them. They had been discussing upgrading and we worked out a deal.

5 months ago we pulled our new-to-us motorhome into a workshop on Ashley’s mom’s property so that we could begin the remodel that we had in mind. I removed the couch.

3 months ago I put in my notice at work. There was much crying and gnashing of teeth. I list my car for sale.

2 months ago we began actually remodeling the RV and paring down our belongings. We decided to go for a full remodel after much debate. We might be hurting the resale value if we tried to sell it back to a dealership, but we don’t ever see that happening. If we sell it, it will be directly to an individual, and they will appreciate and value the upgrades that we have done. Painted all of the walls and cabinets (with much help from Ashley’s family), replaced the carpet with linolium wood flooring (which is waterproof) and began building a window seat with storage underneath to replace the couch. We even managed to squeeze in a yard sale.

5 weeks ago we were still working full-steam on the remodel after work hours, living at Ashley’s moms house to help minimize commute times. We reupholstered all of the cushions and my mom so graciously made us new curtains (with love).

4 weeks ago we moved the RV to our apartment and began moving into it. A weekend project lasted two as I struggled to pare down a lifetime of pack-rat-itis to fit into our new home. The second car finally sells. We hold a final yard sale.

3 weeks ago we migrated back to Ashley’s mom’s house and moved into the motorhome full-time. We change plans for a support vehicle and begin searching for trailers. Our list of small upgrades/changes may never end. I pass off all of my duties in my final days at work.

2 weeks ago we begin preparing for the surprise send-off BBQ planned for the weekend. We buy a trailer and my step-dad builds a bike rack attachment for it at his house while I stand by and hand him tools. It doesn’t work as planned. After a night’s sleep we come up with a modified solution. Motorcycle chocks are built. We load the motorcycle and bicycles on it and take it on a test run to get it over to the motorhome. The BBQ is a delicious success!


1 week ago we hit the road, off to explore the world around us. We love our new home and the opportunity that it provides us!

This post vastly simplifies the process that we went through. There was much debate throughout each of these steps. Comparing options, researching solutions, seeing what others have done, etc. A number of issues were revisited multiple times. Sometimes a decision was made and external factors caused us to change directions mid-process.

Few, if any, adventures have straight paths that lead to them. Much of the fun is the journey!

The Art of Getting Lost

We bought an RV!

But that’s not the exciting part.

No, not at all. The exciting part is what we’re going to do with it. We’re going to explore the continental United States. All of it. Just driving around, hiking in all of the National Parks and National Forests – and visiting whatever else happens to catch our attention along the way. No time frame, no deadline. Just the two of us in our RV, on the open road.

There will be challenges, set-backs, and plenty of wrong turns. But that’s ok – and not just because we’re expecting it. How exciting would an adventure be if there were no challenges to over come? How many fewer memories would be made if everything went along perfectly? And it’s just not a road trip unless there is at least one wrong turn somewhere along the way.

We haven’t hit the road yet, or even moved into the RV, and there have already been a few debates between us. We have begun getting rid of our stuff so that we can downsize from our filled two bedroom, one car garage place into a 29′ box on wheels. But we’ll get there, together, working toward the shared goal of living in our RV and exploring the world around us.

Wrong turns? Our trip isn’t planned out. We have mapped out all of the National Parks and Forests in the US (literally – there is a map sitting on our bookshelf, filled with stickers that indicate where everything is) and we have plotted a direction to help us get started – it’s a zig zagging north, by the way. Beyond a direction for the first few months, we have only the foggiest of ideas.

That is just the beginning, though, and it’s enough to get us started.

No, we don’t have a final destination in mind. There is no set date to finish. There is a big ole world out there, and we’re equipped and exited to go and explore it. To see what there is to see, for ourselves.

Won’t you come and get lost along with us?

The Next Step

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The next step in the Ready-to-go Dates adventure has been taken. It’s sequel has been created and is live. In fact, the first subscribers joined about two weeks ago.

Like the free Ready-to-go Dates guide, I provide date ideas. Unlike the guide, these are more detailed, are delivered directly to your inbox, and also include romance tips.

Curious about Dates by Design? Go check it out. But you’d better hurry, because I’ll be raising the price in a few more weeks.

Making Progress
Though it might not look like it from the outside, putting together both Ready-to-go Dates and Dates by Design have been a lot of work. Before making either one of them available there was a lot of behind-the-scenes hustle. Writing the actual guides, the first emails, putting together the offers, seeing what people wanted, learning new technologies that make it all possible, creating graphics, and so much more.

Neither of the guides have yet grown to their full potential, but they are making progress. Moving in the right direction. It’s just a matter of time and continued effort before they get there. The momentum has begun.

Inspiration
And, just like before this newest project has inspired another one. While Ready-to-go Dates and Dates by Design are growing I am also working on another project. But that’s a post for another day. (Like Wednesday, in fact, so be sure and come back then.)

Until then, check out Dates by Design.

What I Am Building Now

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I recently asked what you were building. (I have also noticed that Ev Bogue seems to be asking something similar recently.)

Even though it was not that long ago that I asked that question my answer has already expanded. Even more people have downloaded the Ready-to-go Dates guide since then. Their feedback has helped me to do two things.

Continue the cycle
Though it would be easy to release the guide and be done with it, that would not fulfill its purpose. Ultimately, I want this to be an amazing, free resource that can help anyone who needs it. To do that, it needs to continue growing, improving, and becoming more accessible.

The feedback that I have received has provided me with encouragement to continue, suggestions of ways to improve the guide, tips and ideas that I would have never come up with on my own. Together, we will all make Ready-to-go Dates into everything that it can possibly be.

The next step
Because of the premise upon which Ready-to-go Dates is built – dates that need 20 minutes or less of preparation, and that can be done just about anywhere – it can only be expanded so far. There are many great ideas out there that just require more preparation, have too many options to fit into the one-date-per-page format, or can only be done at a certain time of the year.

Again, based on the feedback that I have received, I am now building what I am thinking of as “Ready-to-go Dates 2.0”. It is going to be the personalized, detailed, ongoing version of Ready-to-go Dates – four emails a month that provide two date ideas and two romance tips.

I am almost done. Or at least done enough.

– whispering – Those who have are on the Ready-to-go Dates list will get first access to the service, and a discounted price. So if you haven’t gotten your free copy of Ready-to-go Dates yet, you might want to go ahead and do so! But don’t tell anyone, that’s a secret! – ends whispering –

I’m so excited that I can barely contain it!

What are You Building?

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I recently ran across the site LiveYourLegend.net by Scott and love it!

Here’s one of the quotes that really stood out to me.

Build things. This starts from day one. If you are reading about how to write, then start writing. If you’re being taught how to interview, they go find some job openings. People dramatically overestimate how much time them must spend learning before they start doing. The answer is exactly ZERO. The moment you start learning is the moment you must start building and testing.

I recently started doing this, as I decided to go ahead and release my newest ebook Ready-to-go Dates before I got it back from my editor. As soon as I did get the edited copy back I updated the link and informed those who already had a copy that it had been updated.

All of this because I want to be building, doing. As much as I want that, though, I seem to have a tendency to spend time learning things instead of doing them. So this time I defaulted toward action, and it paid off. A few hundred people have downloaded Ready-to-go Dates and a number of them have reached out to give me some amazingly useful feedback.

And now it’s up to me to continue the cycle. If I do nothing, the project will die here. However, I am not going to do nothing, I will implement their feedback, test their ideas, and include the best of them in a new version of the Ready-to-go Dates guide. It will continue to grow and improve over time, spreading and helping even more people.

What about you, what are you building?

Adventures in Dating

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I love dating, even though I don’t get to go out as much as I’d prefer. That’s just part of being alive, unfortunately… never enough time. One of the awesome things about being married? You always have a date.

My wife and I love exploring, trying new things, and going new places. Many of our dates feature these activities in some fashion. Because we have been living in the same place for the last few years, however, we have noticed that our dates have fallen into the dinner and a movie rut.

And after years of exploring, dinner and a movie doesn’t always fit the bill. Sometimes we want something more. That might mean a treasure hunt where each clue leads to the next stage of the date or a date that has had details trickled out via a note a day over the course of a week. The only trouble is that figuring out the details those dates takes time. And that takes us back to the original issue: not enough time.

To solve this issue and ensure that my wife and I can focus on each other, we started keeping a list of our favorite date ideas. That way we always had ideas when we needed them.

It occurred to me that we might not be the only ones who fall back on dinner and a movie habit. Finally, I took my list and wrote an easy-to-read guide, Ready-to-go Dates. It ended up having 20 date ideas that take less than 20 minutes of preparation. Though I had more ideas, I only included ones that can be done anywhere.

Cover of "Ready-to-go Dates"

The final draft is actually at my editor right now, but I was too excited to wait. Following the Cult of Done manifesto I decided to go ahead and make it available now. The edited version will be automatically sent out to those who pick up a copy of the current draft.

You can get yours here. Go and check it out!

Schooling and Education

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I never let my schooling interfere with my education.
~ Mark Twain

I’m graduating from college in a few weeks as a certified artist. One of the common questions is “are you going to grad school?”

Though I contemplated it for a short while, the answer is an adamant no. Going on to get a master’s degree can be a great thing, and I won’t completely rule it out as a future possibility. However, in addition to being pretty thoroughly tired of school at the moment, I just don’t see where I can join a program that will justify its cost.

While looking at different masters programs I came to realize that what they teach is pretty simple. It doesn’t really matter what the school is, whether the University of Kentucky or Yale, the basic program is the same. Since I was specifically looking at Masters in Fine Arts programs I will use them as an example.

    Here are the 6 steps that you have to complete in order to receive an MFA:

  1. Create a lot of work
  2. and get a lot of feedback on it
  3. from all of the other artists you are meeting.
  4. While learning where you fit in/relate to art history
  5. and contemporary art.
  6. Then, to prove that the school has done its job, have a solo show.

Though the schools might disagree (and I’ve had at least a couple of teachers do so), I don’t feel that a school is required to meet those requirements. They aren’t the only repository of information. It doesn’t have to cost tens of thousands of dollars to learn to become an artist. (Or many other things, unless you are looking at a career that requires some sort of licensing to enter the field.)

So I’m not going to work toward a master’s degree at the moment. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t be continuing my education. In fact, I will be branching out, and am likely to be learning more than when I was in school.

If I decide to put that artist certification to use? That spare bedroom can become a studio space, I can go out and meet other artists (more than ever before are accessible, because of the internet) and ask them to give me advice about my work while using the internet and library to look up artists and learn more about their work and how it relates to mine. I can approach galleries to have a solo show, or easily host my own.

Maybe the business minor will be of more interest to me and I’ll expand my reading list to include the Personal MBA book selection and I’ll have the knowledge equivalence of an MBA. 99 books? I can read that in a year, no problem.

Perhaps I’ll do a little of both. Continue creating art and growing as an artist while reading some business books to get a better understanding of how that world works. Maybe I’ll throw in some other topics just for the fun of it.

Either way, I might be done with school, but my education is certainly not over.

Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.
~ Mark Twain’s Notebook