Space Awareness

  When we first bought our motorhome and told friends and family our plans to move into it full-time we inevitably received this response:

Is that enough room? How will you fit everything in there? Won’t you get tired of each other?

This was not a spurious decision on our part, we had carefully considered this before our purchase and came to the conclusion that smaller would be better for us, for a variety of reasons.

We didn’t use most of our space anyway

After living in a variety of apartments over the years, gradually working our way up from a small one-bedroom to a roomy two-bed/two-bath with attached garage, we have noticed that we just don’t use that much space. Oh, we are able to fill as much space as we have available, but actually spending time in and utilizing space? Not so much and in predictable patterns.

No matter what grand ideas that we had for a spare room: office, art studio, guest bedroom, or neatly organized workshop/garage – it just became a storage space for unused items. We gravitate toward each other, so if one of us is in the living room doing something, the other can generally be found there as well.

  
Ultimately, we realized that we spend the majority of our time in the kitchen, dining area, living room (couch/laptop/TV), asleep in the bed, and of course the bathroom.

After living in a variety of apartments with differing floor plans, we also noticed that we prefer openness. We want the ability to interact from the kitchen to the dining area to the living area. The bedroom can be separate, as we primarily use it to sleep and store clothes.

An RV meets all of these requirements

It has a full kitchen, dining booth, and a couch-sized window seat in the main living area. There is a bedroom in the back, with a full-sized bed (which is what we’ve always had, no adjustment for us) and in-between there is a full bathroom.

  
The bathroom can be closed off from either or both the bathroom or living area, providing private spaces as desired.

Above the cab is additional storage and a pull-out twin bed. We keep our books on the shelves up there. There are privacy curtains available, so if we so desired, one of us can go and barricade ourselves in “the Library” for a bit of privacy.

All of the spaces that we actually use are available and open to each other – though they can be partitioned off so that we can have various spaces as we desire.

But what about when you get tired of each other?

Since we tend to gravitate toward each other anyway, we don’t seem to get tired of each other’s company. If we happen to, we will just plan a day separate from each other, or one of us will stay inside and the other will go out.

  
What did you do with all of your stuff?

We did put some things in storage. Most of my tools, a select few pieces of furniture, and some mementos. Fortunately, family kindly offered space so that we didn’t have to find a storage unit.

Between Goodwill, two yard-sales, family, and friends we dispensed with the rest of our possessions. (A process which Ashley had no trouble with while I struggled mightily. Though I appreciate and flirt with minimalism: I am still a natural saver and hoarder.)

In short, everything we own is being carried with us, or could be condensed down to a single storage shed.

So far we haven’t missed anything that we got rid of, and more than half of the things that we did bring along haven’t yet been touched.

How will we make do in such a small space?

Splendidly! We are minimizing material possessions in order to maximize our experiences and the relationships in our lives.

  

RV FAQ

Here are a few of the questions that we are asked about our journey:

  • Why? – Why not? Both my wife and I have always been curious about the world around us and want to see more of it. So we are exploring the country to see what there is to see.
  • What inspired you? – As mentioned above, a love of travel and exploration. However, we have both lost loved ones to cancer – and they both left us too early, before they got to live out the adventures that they had planned. We don’t want the same thing to happen to us, so we are going on the adventures now, while we know that we can.
  • Where are you going? – Everywhere! We are going to visit every National Park and National Forest in the continental United States (and are also going to visit each of the lower 48 states).
  • How can you afford this? Arent’t you young to be retired? – Though we say we are retired, that might not be the most accurate description. After paying off our school loans we built up savings and began looking for a house to purchase/build. Eventually we decided that wasn’t the best option for us and chose to use those savings to buy a motorhome and remodel it. No debt,  further savings, and frugal living will allow us to travel for an extended period. We will pick up odd jobs as they strike our fancy to help add to our financial cushion (perhaps helping at a vineyard or orchard during harvest, or working in Orlando Studio’s Harry Potter World). Also, want to buy some soap?
  • What if your motorhome breaks down? – As long as we can continue to live in it, we will do so. If we can’t afford to get it repaired, we can work and save until we can get it fixed, and then continue on our journey. After two years, we will have broken even between the cost of the motorhome and our previous rent payments and will actually be saving money by owning our own home on wheels.
  • What do you do? Just drive around? – We are hiking and exploring the parks and forests that we visit, and other interesting destinations along the way. In the evenings and during rainy days we read, write and draw. For gas savings we can explore on the motorcycle. We have also brought our bicycles along so that we can further explore and continue training for our ride across Iowa in July, 2015.
  • Across IOWA? – Yep. We are taking part in the RAGBRAI. A weeklong bike ride across the state of Iowa, from west to east.
  • Don’t you need more room? – We find our RV to be perfectly sized for us. If anything, we could have gone a touch smaller. There is room for everything that we do, it’s comfortable and uniquely ours. What more do we need? Plus, we spend a lot of time ouside, enjoying the great outdoors on our quest.

Have more questions? Feel free to email me at Matthew (at) Adventure-Some (dot) com and I’ll answer them for you.

Nomad Standard Time

Living on the road, without a fixed schedule, means that you live in an alternate time-zone: NST.*

Only a couple of times in the last month have we set a firm deadline, and of those all but one have been set once we had already arrived in our destination and settled into a stationary spot. The other was set months ago and has been the impetus behind our over-all rate of travel for the last month.

  
Nomad Standard Time is full of approximations, firming up as a timeframe approaches.
As we head south to visit family and friends we keep getting asked when we will arrive (so that our bundle of mail can be forwarded to us). The answer has been some variation of “we’re not sure yet” until early last week.

  
Finally, we were able to to say “we think that we will arrive sometime early next week.” Our mail has been shipped along its way – it may well still beat us there.

  
We are currently meandering south, generally aiming toward their hometown. While we could have rushed and have arrived yesterday, that would have been a fairly long day of travel. And since we are home, no matter where we go, we just don’t have to be in a rush!

  
The closer we get, the more accurately we can predict our travel plans, though they remain flexible. Talking to Aunt Joni this morning, we found out that she is busy, so we slow down our rate of travel a bit. This allows us to get some writing and other personal projects done before heading out. Today we can drive until we’re ready for a break, find a place to park for the night and then coordinate in the morning to firm up a good time to meet.

  
Don’t be offended or off-put if we don’t give you a firm schedule or time-frame of when we’ll be in a particular location. The honest answer is that we’ll get there when we get there.

Likewise, don’t be concerned about telling us that you are busy and can’t meet with us. Chances are, we can accommodate a delay to catch up with you at another time.

Remember, we live in an alternate time-zone! 

* I can’t take credit for NST. I first heard of it from Cherie of Technomadia – check out point number 5 in her letter.

Journal entry – 21 June 2015, Sun

Journal entries are just that – the digital copy of my hand-written entries in my journal. If you aren’t interested in the daily details of our adventure, feel free to skip on to the next “regular” post.

I didn’t sleep so well – the trains blew their whistles as they passed so I caught a series of naps rather than a night’s slumber.

After breakfast we packed lunch and hopped on the motorcycle for a visit to the Voyageurs’ National Park – our first National Park of the journey. The road is much better on the motorcycle than the RV. Winter is rough on the roads and I certainly appreciate the ones back in the south a lot more now!

We head in to the Ash River Visitor Center, where the ranger points out some hiking trails for us to explore, and warns us against the “muddy and swampy” Kab-Ash trail which is in need of maintenance.

  
Off down the Blind Ash Bay Trail we head, which has a few scenic overlooks of Kabetogama Lake. We pass a ranger on the trail (who nearly fell down on a slippery rock in the trail right in front of us) and meet a trio of ladies who are touring National Parks as well. They strongly recommended a trip to Glacier. After a pleasant chat we head on and find a rocky outcropping with a good view of the lake upon which to enjoy our lunch.

   
     Our attempt at making our own Cliff bars turned out to be a tasty granola-y crumble rather than any sort of formed food. Definitely worth more attempts.

After lunch we head back to the motorcycle and head out, back down the road we came in on. We stop at the Beaver Pond where I hear a splash and see ripples but otherwise spot nothing more than a beaver lodge.

Just around a bend in the road is the Sullivan Bay Trail – a pretty hike through the woods that culminates at a picnic area on a rocky outcrop overlooking the Bay. Stunning view!

   
   Back at the motorcycle, it’s time to head back to the RV. While stopping for gas Ashley points out that we passed Elephant Lake a few miles back, where research shows boondock camping available in the forest. We head back and go off searching for a spot to spend the next few nights.

After the grooved blacktop in the road construction I’m a lot more confident in the gravel roads and we search down a spot back off of old logging roads off a forest road. An old gravel pit near the top of a hill provides more than enough space to turn around and, hidden behind a patch of trees, we discover a fire pit and beautiful campsite. Just in case, I continue along one of the side trails but it doesn’t appear that we can top that site.

  
Back down the road, time to move house! We top off the gas tank in the motorcycle for Tuesday’s trip and load up. Getting better at that process, as we made it on our first try!

The trip back to the forest is uneventful, except for the washboard gravel roads. Double digits was too fast! Fortuntely we’re only two miles off the blacktop.

   
   We settle in – Ashley fixes supper while I go gather firewood. After supper it’s shower time and then a bit of reading before bed!

Think I managed a shower in about a half gallon of water. No “soap or poo” really does help!

The Twisted Path to FullTime Life in a Motorhome

As with anything in life, our path to buying a motorhome, remodeling it, and then moving in as our primary residence has been one full of twists and turns.

Looking back Ashley and I have come to realize that we don’t like sitting still. Between traveling and living in different places we have always been on the move and grow restless when we have been in one place too long.

9 years ago, Ashley and I connected over shared ideas about adventure, travel, and life.

8 years ago, we moved off to school and began exploring the Daniel Boone National Forest in central Kentucky.

We discussed the possibility of buying an RV and living in it as a way to mitigate costs while students

7 years ago, I married my best friend at a destination wedding within the Red River Gorge, a subset of the D.B. National Forest. We decided against buying something and let a short-term apartment, as we would be leaving in 6 months to study in Ireland for a school semester.

7.5 years ago found us living in a converted garage in Maynooth, Ireland while we attend school and jaunt about the country on weekends.

6 years prior, we returned from Ireland, drove to Colorado at my dad’s passing, packed up his things and returned to Kentucky. We drove up to Lexington for a week’s worth of apartment shopping to prepare for the upcoming school semester.

The next 4 years find us bouncing around apartments in Lexington as we work at various companies and finish our degrees. A trip is taken down to Donna, TX to visit Matthew’s grandparents. We buy a motorcycle as a second vehicle. Ashley sneaks away the last summer to join family on a 7-day backpacking trip in Colorado (sadly, Matthew could’t get off work). We go and visit Ashley’s oldest sister in the Seattle, WA area.

With the beginning of our careers looming we debate where to live. Other than visits, we have always lived in Kentucky. While it is a beautiful state, with much to offer, our wanderlust has by no means been quenched and we are eager to see more of the country, and world. However, we also enjoy spending time with our families, the core of which happen to live within just a few miles of each other.

2 years ago, we pack up everything and return to our home town, leaving favorite restaurants and great friends to live close to our families. Ashley is able to transfer from the hospital she had been working at for two years to another one within the same network, beginning her career as a nurse. We sign a two-year lease, agreeing with each other that if we have fallen back in love with the area we can settle down once the lease expires. However, the conclusion of the lease also signals time for us to mosey along if the urge to travel is still strong.

1.5 years ago find us settled in place. Both of us have jobs, one of us with a company we love and that could be good enough to consider retiring from. We picked up another car. We have discovered new restaurants and coffee shops and have a routine of visits with our respective families. There was another backpacking trip in Colorado – and Matthew was able to join on this one. We take an impromptu trip to the Bahamas for a vacation.

1 year ago, we begin looking at houses for sale. It feels like time to move. We want something that we can decorate and really make ours. Years of renting make us ready to own.

The houses and property that catch our interest are more than we want to pay. Maybe we can just buy land and build our own home. Ashley’s dad did just that and we love his house. So the search for land began. Alas, nothing seemed to match our respective desires.

10 months ago it occurred to us that perhaps the land isn’t the important part. Maybe we could just build a tiny house and rent a spot from one of our parents (or bounce between them in an attempt to not wear out our welcome.) Research began. We settled on tiny house plan that we both loved. It was big enough to feel spacious and small enough to be economical – something we felt confident that we could build and since it was on wheels it was portable so we could travel and take our home with us! But something just wasn’t right.

8 months ago, after lots of frustration with her employer, Ashley dropped down to part-time. She was much more relaxed, had more energy, and even began pursuing some personal interests.

I read Chris Guillebeau’s newest book, The The Happiness of Pursuit and it clicked. A tiny house would be ours and would allow us to travel while having our own home with us. However, while they can be moved, it doesn’t seem like they do well when they are frequently mobilized. An RV, however, is made to do exactly that.

After much discussion, we agreed. A tiny house has some advantages over a motorhome/RV, and is a project for a future day. A motorhome would allow us to travel around the United States and explore the different places that we might want to live.

Building on the idea of the quest, presented in The Happiness of Pursuit, Ashley decided that she wanted to see every National Park and National Forest in the continental United States. That almost covers every state, so I added visiting all of the lower 48 to our todo list.

Now the idea stuck with us and we began figuring out what we would have to do to make it a reality.

We decided not to wait until “later”, influenced by the passing of loved ones who didn’t get to live out their dreams.

6 months ago we started looking at Motorhomes and debating how to bring what secondary vehicle along with us. My mom and step-dad had a class-C that they’d used on a handful of trips over the past 3 years. They offered to let us stay in their yard for a week so that we could see what we liked/didn’t like about RV life (important information to have, seeing as neither of us had stayed in an RV since we were wee children). We enjoyed it so much that we stayed for a second week, and then offered to buy it from them. They had been discussing upgrading and we worked out a deal.

5 months ago we pulled our new-to-us motorhome into a workshop on Ashley’s mom’s property so that we could begin the remodel that we had in mind. I removed the couch.

3 months ago I put in my notice at work. There was much crying and gnashing of teeth. I list my car for sale.

2 months ago we began actually remodeling the RV and paring down our belongings. We decided to go for a full remodel after much debate. We might be hurting the resale value if we tried to sell it back to a dealership, but we don’t ever see that happening. If we sell it, it will be directly to an individual, and they will appreciate and value the upgrades that we have done. Painted all of the walls and cabinets (with much help from Ashley’s family), replaced the carpet with linolium wood flooring (which is waterproof) and began building a window seat with storage underneath to replace the couch. We even managed to squeeze in a yard sale.

5 weeks ago we were still working full-steam on the remodel after work hours, living at Ashley’s moms house to help minimize commute times. We reupholstered all of the cushions and my mom so graciously made us new curtains (with love).

4 weeks ago we moved the RV to our apartment and began moving into it. A weekend project lasted two as I struggled to pare down a lifetime of pack-rat-itis to fit into our new home. The second car finally sells. We hold a final yard sale.

3 weeks ago we migrated back to Ashley’s mom’s house and moved into the motorhome full-time. We change plans for a support vehicle and begin searching for trailers. Our list of small upgrades/changes may never end. I pass off all of my duties in my final days at work.

2 weeks ago we begin preparing for the surprise send-off BBQ planned for the weekend. We buy a trailer and my step-dad builds a bike rack attachment for it at his house while I stand by and hand him tools. It doesn’t work as planned. After a night’s sleep we come up with a modified solution. Motorcycle chocks are built. We load the motorcycle and bicycles on it and take it on a test run to get it over to the motorhome. The BBQ is a delicious success!


1 week ago we hit the road, off to explore the world around us. We love our new home and the opportunity that it provides us!

This post vastly simplifies the process that we went through. There was much debate throughout each of these steps. Comparing options, researching solutions, seeing what others have done, etc. A number of issues were revisited multiple times. Sometimes a decision was made and external factors caused us to change directions mid-process.

Few, if any, adventures have straight paths that lead to them. Much of the fun is the journey!

Taking Advantage of Planned Lazy Days

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I woke up to the sound of rain on my roof. Which was a delightful sound this particular morning. This was our break – a day to do nothing but laze around the RV. And we’ve been waiting for it to start raining for a few weeks now.

  

For at least the last couple of months it feels like my wife and I have been running full blast, with after burners on. Between planning our trip, remodeling the RV, gathering supplies, winding down jobs, narrowing down personal items to fit in the RV, and selling the extras – it’s been non-stop! I kept joking that I’d finally get a break about 3 days into our trip. Apparently I was wrong – it took 5.

  

Three states in, two National Forests, and two National Recreation Areas later, and it was finally scheduled to rain. We settled in to our campsite and looked forward to a day of rest.

  

But just doing nothing is hard! The rain let up in the mid-afternoon and both of us mentioned that we could get in today’s training bike ride, or run to the grocery store on the motorcycle, or maybe go for a hike. But we adamantly said no, we have been planning a sit-at-home day for some time now, and we are going to take full advantage of it.

  

So we have. After sleeping in we ate breakfast while watching most of our neighbors pack up and head out, back to their every-day lives (it was a rainy Sunday at a state campground). Then we enjoyed our coffee and tea and soaked in the scenes out our windows. Eventually we looked through some paperwork that we had been collecting during our travels and took care of a couple easy chores inside the RV.

  

As the sun peeked out we strolled down the trail and checked out a historic cabin and meandered down the shore of Lake Michigan briefly before heading back to our cozy home. Then it was time to put together some chili for supper, eat, and later have some popcorn as an early evening snack.

 

Throughout the day, we both had to remind the other that it was our day off. We have definitely gotten into the habit of always doing something. Fortunately we have been planning for a break for a few weeks now and helped each other stick to that plan.

  

We definitely needed a break. The Good Lord knew what he was doing when he appointed a day of rest each week. After our day of rest, we are both exited about tomorrow. Which is good, because we have a 30-mile bike ride, a 250′ dune to climb, and more!

Fallacy of the Expensive Date

I was recently talking with a friend about going on dates. She stated that she couldn’t go out, because she didn’t have the money. To which I replied, “Hogwash! Of course you can, you’re just going about it wrong. Dates don’t have to be expensive.”

When I say “date”, what do you picture?

Is it some image of getting dressed up in special clothes, guys picking up the ladies, then heading out for an expensive dinner followed by a movie or a trip to a favorite bar? If so, then you’re stuck with the formal, old-fashioned definition of a date.

In reality, a date is simply spending time with someone that you may have a romantic interest in, for the purpose of getting to know them better. Whether you are finding out if you like more than their appearance on a first date or strengthening a decades-long relationship, the time spent together is the important part. Knowing the true purpose of the date frees us from any formal definition.

With the focus simply being to spend time together to get to know someone better, there are limitless possibilities of things to do and places to go. You are no longer restricted to a restaurant-then-movie format. In fact, you don’t have to eat at all. There is no law stating that a date must involve food.

Cheap Dates

It is nice to share a meal while on a date, but there are many variations that you can try.

  • Go during a different time of the day. Many restaurants have lunch specials that are cheaper than the same meal later in the day.
  • Go out to eat, but only have dessert. Why not?
  • Prepare food at home. A common bit of money-saving advice is to prepare your own food. Cooking together can be great fun, so enjoy it as a date!
  • Go on a picnic. Don’t want your date to see where you live just yet? You can still cook, or just pick something up, but who says that you have to eat inside?

Because you are focusing on the other person’s company, there is no requirement to “have fun” as almost any shared activity will be exciting for you.

  • Peruse a book or music store together. You will discover each others’ tastes while finding numerous subjects to talk about.
  • Talk a walk. If the weather is nice, head out for a stroll. Visit a park or explore your city on foot. Stop and get coffees or snacks, but get them to go.
  • Play a game. Inside, outside, as a couple or with friends, old-fashioned board (or card) games can provide hours of entertainment, and are far more interactive than a video game is.

(You can find even more date ideas here and here.)

Have fun, don’t break the bank

Dating is supposed to be fun. It’s easy to become too serious about the results, or about what you’re “supposed to do”. Relax, focus on the person you’re with, and have a good time. Be open to opportunities that may not be traditional. Expend your more of your creativity and less of your money. Most importantly, enjoy yourself.

Redefining Romance

Holding hands silhouetted in front of sun set over water

Everything is better when you share it

What comes to mind when you think of romance? Do you picture a fancy restaurant with roses and candles on the table? Maybe some live music in the background? While that certainly would be romantic, it’s not the only way to go.

Contrary to popular opinion, romance is not a one time event, reserved for special occasions. It is not something that you have, but is something that you do, and do on a recurring basis. According to the dictionary, romance can be either a type of story or an action. Unless you live in a book or a movie, we’re not concerned with the story, but with what we can do:

[v. roh-mans]
1. to seek the affections of romantically; woo
2. treat with feelings of great intensity and warmth
3. be considerate and courteous to women

As you can see, the definition is fairly simple. Why, then, do we tend to make it so complicated? While I lay much of the blame on popular culture (movies tend to portray romance as whirl-wind love affairs or one time events), much of the confusion occurs because we don’t have a good understanding of how to be romantic.

What is romance?

Sterile dictionary definition aside, what exactly is romance? Nothing more than a daily series of small actions that serve to express our love. People show love in different ways, and so the exact combination will be different for everyone. Perhaps your wife feels loved through physical contact; then you would romance her by holding her hand, giving her back rubs, touching her arm, and otherwise physically touching her. Maybe she responds best when you do things for her; in which case you would make it a point to do things like washing the dishes, making the bed, or vacuuming.

You will notice that none of these cost any money, nor are they taxing, time-consuming tasks. A combination of such simple, small actions are all that you need to show your spouse just how much they are loved.

Romance is a choice

We have to choose to be romantic. The small actions mentioned above are not always things we would choose to do (after all, vacuuming is not a common item on “top 10 favorite things to do” lists). However, by consciously deciding to do these things we are showing our love. When such actions don’t come naturally to you, they are even greater expressions of our love. (ie: Extra brownie points!)

Choosing romance daily

Not only do you have to choose to take your romantic action but it is a choice that you have to re-make each day. It might be an easy decision when you’re in a good mood and have some free time. However, even if you’re mad at your wife and rushed for time you can still choose to do something to show that you love her.

Sacrificing some time that would otherwise be spent watching television, surfing the web, or hanging out with friends in order to focus on your spouse is time well spent. It’s not time lost, but instead time well invested in your relationship. That time will reap dividends in the form of a wife who feels well-loved and thus will be willing to return the favor.

How are you going to romance your spouse today?

You don’t have to buy some expensive gift or plan an extravagant dinner. Here are some simple actions you can do today to show your wife how much you love her.

Pick whichever you think your wife would like the most and go do it! There’s no time like the present to start being romantic!

10 Amazing Free Dates

Lego couple sitting on block holding hands

Love knows no bounds

The cost of a date has nothing do with how enjoyable it is. A free date can be more amazing than one that significantly thins your wallet. The point of a date is to spend time together, sharing experiences, conversations, and making memories. No money is required to do any of those. (And if your love language is Quality Time, these are important!) Without further ado, here are 10 free dates that anyone can go on.

 

  1. Go to the park – It seems that all cities (or counties, if you live in a rural area) have a public park. They offer lots of options, from walking trails, playgrounds to play on, ducks to feed, and games to watch.
  2. Tour a Bookstore – There are so many opportunities to learn about your date in a bookstore. Explore the store together, sharing books that catch your attention, laughing over funny titles, or just seeing what interests your date has. Maybe you could go to the travel section and pick a destination to visit together, or the cooking section and find a meal to cook that night. Perhaps something in the craft section will pique your interest together you will discover a new hobby. Take a look, it’s in a book.
  3. People Watching – This can be a highly entertaining activity, especially when you have someone to share the experience with. Pick a park bench, a spot in the mall, or just walk around the local college campus. There’s no telling what, or who, you’ll see.
  4. Free Samples – This is what warehouse stores are really good for. Free food! Hit up your local Sam’s, Costco, or anywhere else that provides samples and see what they have to offer. Be sure to dare each other to try the weird-looking thing. Who knows, you might find something delicious that you both enjoy!
  5. Art Critics – You don’t have to pay to see art. Do some searching to find a free museum nearby, or check out an art gallery. Don’t forget to check out the local library, as they often have art on display. Even if there’s not a gallery or free museum where you live, there is still art to be seen. Check out the next date.
  6. Tour the Town – No matter how small it may be, all towns and cities have something interesting to check out. Maybe it’s a statue or sculptural fountain, a historical site (have you ever stopped to read those signs?), a unique store or restaurant. You can either walk around or take public transportation if it’s free.
  7. Crossword Puzzle – With only a little bit of searching you can find a previously read newspaper. It’s a great opportunity to sit close to each other and work through the crossword puzzle together. If the crossword puzzle stumps you, take turns reading the comics to each other.
  8. Window Shopping – Leave your wallets at home (well, you might want to take your drivers’ license) and go shopping. Live the glamorous life, at least for an afternoon. Try on clothes you would never spend the money for, go look at your favorite sports car, or see what she looks like when wearing a ring that could be seen from space.
  9. Play a Game – What kind of games do you have laying around the house? A favorite board game, a deck of cards, maybe even a puzzle or two? As long as the two of you can play it together, it doesn’t matter what it is. Make it even more exciting by playing somewhere new. You don’t have to sit at home. Take it to a park, sit on the beach, visit a school.
  10. Cook Together – Just like the free gift of a candle-lit meal, cooking together doesn’t have to be fancy to be fun. You can boil the water while she gets the strainer ready for the pasta. She can set the table while you pour the drinks. Together, you can make a meal to remember!

No matter what you decide to do on your date, the important thing is to go with an open mind and a focus on your date.

Check out Ready-to-go Dates for even more ideas.

11 Free Gifts She Will Love

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Hands holding out gift box

The heart cannot be contained in a gift box.

Meaningful gifts don’t have to be expensive. In fact, they don’t have to cost anything at all. Here are 11 examples. (Especially helpful if their love language is Receiving Gifts.)

  1. Love Note – You don’t have to write a novel, just a quick sentence or two that lets her know how much she means to you. If you need some tips, check out the Sticky-Note Love ebook.
  2. Back Rub – As long as you’re willing to put in some time and focused attention, you can’t really give a bad back rub. Pay attention to her and she’ll tell you what and where it feels best.
  3. Foot Massage – Even if she’s not on her feet all day, a foot massage will feel wonderful. Just like the back rub, pay attention and she’ll tell you how to make her feel good.
  4. Help with Chores – There’s nothing like getting some non-complaining help when you’re doing chores. Maybe you heard the drier ding, then go fold the clothes without being asked. Notice the trash can is full? Empty it. Anything she doesn’t have to do will be greatly appreciated.
  5. IOU – A simple IOU can do wonders, it’s the gift that gives twice. Write a quick note saying that you will give a back rub, foot massage, candle-lit dinner, or anything else and watch her eyes light up. In the case of the dinner, you can go ahead and set a date, but for the others you might want to just let her know that she can redeem the IOU whenever she wants.
  6. Origami Flowers – Grab some paper, check out some paper-folding instructions and have fun! Give her a bouquet that will never wilt.
  7. Love Letter – Love letters don’t have to be hard to write. You’re simply telling her how much you love her and why. Writing it by hand will make it worth so much more! If you need it, here’s more advice on how to write a love letter.
  8. Hand-drawn Picture – It doesn’t have to be “good.” With such a project as this, it’s the thought that counts. Put some time and effort in to your project, even if it’s just stick figures holding hands and some word balloons. Remember, drawing a picture is easy: children do it all the time. So what’s stopping you?
  9. Candle-Lit Meal – Guys, you don’t have to be a chef to make a meal special. It’s all about the setting. Fortunately for us, that doesn’t mean that we have to go somewhere fancy, hire a musician, or even provide a fancy meal. Pizza or mac-n-cheese can be spruced up by simply making sure the table is clean, folding some napkins, using real plates and silverware, dimming the lights and burning some candles.
  10. Photo Slide Show – Have photos of you and your gal? Compile them in a slideshow. This could be a Powerpoint presentation, a free photobucket slideshow, or even just a new album in facebook. Whatever you choose, be sure to take the time to put them in an order that makes sense and add some captions to them!
  11. Mix Playlist – The important part of this gift is the playlist that you make, something just for her. How you deliver can add some spice to the gift, however. If you happen to have a blank lying around you could burn a CD for her to listen to in the car. You could copy the songs to a thumb drive and she can copy them to her computer. You could load the playlist on her mp3 player as a surprise. Perhaps you could email her a new song each day, with a comment on why you chose it.

While I wouldn’t recommend trying all of these at once, I would suggest working your way through the list. There are plenty of other free gifts that you could give if you just give it some thought.